Rocket Knight Attack Squad
by Sparkster Sanjulo
Summary: The new adventures of Sparkster and friends, if you like random, stupid, childish and crazy humor with a side order of the slapstick variety and a deliciously ridiculous story, this is for you. Currently in progress.
1. A few words

ROCKET KNIGHTS YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Just kidding.

* * *

Main characters, characterisation applied to the characters who had none originally:

-Sparkster Sanjulo-  
Armor colors: Turquiose with a brown jumpsuit  
The lazy ass mastermind who has the rest of the group do everything, zero tolerance and bigtime control freak. Rarely smiles. Very smart but hides it through laziness, usually the first to figure things out. Loves drinking Coca Cola.

-Axle Gear-  
Armor colors: Pink(I see it pink anyway..) with a red jumpsuit  
The creepy weirdo who spends his time following Sparkster around, ensuring the turquiose-armored possum dosen't beat the others into bloody pulps. Very strong and usually silent, unless people start making fun of his pink armor. He is also a bigtime ladie's man.

-Sherry Zebula-  
Armor colors: Royal blue with a white jumpsuit

Really ditsy, she could stare blankly at something for hours and not even realise what it is. Forgets things often. The kindest and most righteous of the bunch, except when she gets tired of putting up with people's crap. Often finds herself in stupid situations because she keeps feeling sorry for everyone. Ill-tolerant of Axle, for obvious reasons.

-Nisto Kalmara-  
Armor colors: Yellow with a purple jumpsuit

The second most lazy in the group, spending most of his time drinking beer and singing like an idiot, carefree and loves to tease Axle because of his armor color. He can put up with a ridiculous amount of annoyance before he fianlly can't take it anymore.

-Cherry Eginasi (I think that's her last name?)-  
Armor colors: Red with a royal-blue jumpsuit

An overly spoiled little brat, being a princess originally, also extremely vain, loving to look at herself in a mirror every chance she gets. She perfers to be around the other girls if possible, but often gets into fights with them over stupid things. Ill-tolerant of Axle, for obvious reasons.

-Birxian Fendabi-  
Armor colors: Green with an turquiose jumpsuit

Definatly not the lightest bulb in the bunch but his always sunny dispostition makes up for it.. Barely. He always smiles and has something positive to say.. Most of the time. When worst comes to worst he'll calmly sit down and cry.

-Kasuro "Inzara" (She needed a last name)- (Originally owned by Mushroom64/Wonderswan, but I'm sure Mushroom may have seen this story somewhere else before in comic form, however inaccurate it was, thanks to an old friend of mine, there should be no problems)  
Armor colors: Purple(I think..) with an orange jumpsuit

A little ball of energy. Very playful but also a bigtime crybaby, lightning fast she can leave enemies stunned with a flurry of attacks. Definatly the most innocent of the group. Very easily startled by things.

-Zeronokai "Zero" Shandala-  
Armor colors: Orange with a hunter green jumpsuit

Loud, annoying and messy. He loves cheese, especially making a mess with it. Drives the others crazy with his stupid antics, he is often in conflict with Sparkster, who also loves cheese and will not hesistate to fight him over a box of cheesy crackers,which often results in him becoming a mutilated pile of hair on the floor.

* * *

This dosen't folllow the original RKA stories, but it has most of the more important characeters in it, but there alot of other addition to the story.

This is more of a movie script, some things were come up with by me, some not, I betcha with an extensive knowledge of characters from various games and cartoons you can figure out which ones are and which ones aren't. Even if their not 'mine', their used in here with some degree of respect because I think they are cool and have been deemed worthy of being in the world's greatest soon-to-be movie.

There are quite a few parodies in it, but with those aside, everything is and will be, to my knowledge, quite unique in comparison to anything I have ever seen so far once complete.

I know it's dumb, it's supposed to be, chances are, 50 percent of everything WILL most likely be redone for the better before it's movie production time, luckily I got PLENTY of time to improve this.

Any suggestions welcome even with all insprative buffs from my shrine I still can't really make it as good as I'd want it to be.

So far so good, I have the entire thing planned, I just gotta get around to peckin' it all out.

PS: Axle Gear's pink armor issuse I think it may be a case of screen crappiness I see him in pink in the game??.

* * *

OMG your still here, go to next chapter jeeze. 


	2. The past

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The past

* * *

There is alot to tell, since so much had changed in the time gone by. 

It has been a year since the war for Zebulos, with all of the opposing armies' leaders presumed dead, Axle Gear was eventually captured, however Sparkster saw a use for him and managed to save him from execution and pretty much made him her personal servant, he was literally forced to do ridiculous tasks that no one else would do, like get her dirty panties (She left them around everytime she changed them) off the floor and put them in the laundry cause she was to damn lazy to do it herself.

And if he didn't he'd be reduced to pile of jello via a bat with nails in it.

Despite all this abuse he decided to forgive her anyways, mostly because she saved his life somewhat and because he was a phathetic pink armored-rocket knight originally born to the Gearian amazon queen who had him abandoned on the side of road in a cardboard box as a baby and also because no matter what he did, he just coulden't get anything right, sure he was stronger than all of the other rocket knights including Sparks, but when it came to things like coming up with plans he was dumber than a freakin' rock, he needed some brains to make up for his loss.

Sparkster was those brains.

So ever since she was his new crush, she tolerated him better than Sherry, but then again it's hard to tolerate someone who has kidnapped you in the past. The fact Sparks showed enough compassion to save him from death showed she had some kind of interest in him (besides doing her dirty-work) and she proved it more when she allowed him to be second-in-command, leading when she wasen't around, she knew he was enslaved by them and forced to fight her against his own will and on top of that she knew if he was ever to turn against her once more, he'd be skinned alive by the other rocket knights.

Some time after the wars Sherry had decided to become a rocket knight, probably inspired by the one who saved her from Axle's clutches, she was soon followed by Cherry who also pursued the art of rocket knightry.

Later they heard that during the wars a new generation of opossum had been born to various rocket knight families, several of them where sent to Zebulos to be trained by Sparkster.

Over time they formed a group to protect Zebulos from the storm they knew would be soon to come, Sparkster herself saw General Fataissimo Lioness activate a personal teleportation device moments before the deathblow so she knew that the cat was still alive out there somewhere, somewhere being the cat capital, where Fataissimo was planning to completely take over and enslave the opossum race like they previously did to the lizards, wolves and pigs.

Unfortunatly the rocket knights did not know just what Fataissimo had in store for them...


	3. Prelude

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Prelude

* * *

---(Cue Rocket Knight Adventures Level Interlude song)---- 

Sparkster was flying over Zebulos one day when she saw this sign on the ground, it read 'S.O.S.'.

"Looks like somebodies in trouble!" She said, setting her jetpack on high and bounding off towards the ground.

When she landed all she saw was this retarded looking dude in the ugliest armor in history, it was CONAN.

"OHHHH THANK GOODNESS SOMEBODY CAME!!" He yelled out.

"What seems to be your problem today, Conan?" Sparkster said.

"OOOOOHHHH.. IT'S HORRIBLE!! My puppy LAFFY went missing today!!! I looked EVERYWHERE for him but I just can't find him!! PLEASE PLEASE FIND HIM FOR ME!!" Conan whined.

At this point Sparkster was already having delusions of a big blue and brown palace, with a hundred servants, chambers upon chambers of slaves, Conan as the butler and herself as the queen.

"...Soooo.. What do I get if I find your dog?"

"ANYTHING!!! I would give ANYTHING to have my puppy back!!"

(Example pic: http://img515.imageshack.us/img515/5589/story1qe4.jpg )

"...ANYthing... ..Conan?" She said.

"Yes!! ANYTHING!!!!"

"Alright, it's a deal, I'll have your puppy returned to you before sundown, you can count on me!" She said.

She blasted off towards a rainbow tower right next to the castle of Zebulos.

_Man this great, all I gotta do is find some moron's dog and I got it all! This is so awesome I think I'll bring my attack-squad to help me celebrate! I mean, come ON, how hard can finding some dumb old dog BE?_ She thought.

Little did Sparkster know that the greatest adventure of her entire life, and probably just about everybody elses lives, was just about to start.


	4. And so it all begins

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Chapter 1: And so it all begins.

* * *

It was just another spring day in Zebulos, if you where a townspossum of course, but for our wiley hereos and heroettes, it was the beginning of a long saga, one 

that might span from the most mundane of places to another dimension to the sacred halls of the core of existance and back.

The rest of the rocket knights where seated at the lunch-time table, having just finished eating.

"Wow it's been a while since Sparkster left, I hope she's okay" Sherry said,

staring down at her empty bowl on the table.

"Ah she'll be fine, you know how she is, procrastinator extraordinaire." Nisto,

the yellow-armored possum seated beside her assured her.

Sherry sighed, looking at the clock, 4 hours had passed since Sparkster's departure, with no signs of her arrival.

Just then, there was roaring sounds near the door, it sounded like... A rocket?.

Suddenly, "RRRROCKET KNIGHTS!" screamed Sparkster as she threw open the door to the Rocket KnightAttack-Squad HQ. "I have some good news and some bad news!"

Axle Gear groaned, "What's the GOOD news?" he asked.

"The good news is that we are on a quest!" she replied. "We are FAMOUS!"

"Great... whats the bad news?" Nisto asked next.

"Well, the bad news is that the quest is for," Sparkz took a long pause... Looking at a piece of paper in her hands.

"It's for CONAN,"

All of the other Rocket Knights gasped.

"WHAT? That old man who can't even tell his own butt from a hole in the ground!" Sherry shrieked.

"I wanna help, tooo!!" Kasuro squealed, "Mushroom64 said I could come when I was nine and now I am!!"

"Oh yea!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KASURO!! We almost forgot you turned nine today!" Said all of the possums except Sparks.

"So what about Conan, Sparky?" Zeronokai told Sparkster as he gnawed on a cheese sandwich like the possum he was.

Sparkster looked at them and continued. "Well, he wants us to find his dog Laffy because he's too dumb to do it himself. So we have to go and look for the dog,"

"Hey cool! I always wanted to do that!" Birxian said. "I love doggies!!"

The others rolled their eyes, Cherry looked up there too, but only saw the roof.

"Ok anyways, I think we should head out," Sparkz said.

Axle looked at the clock, it was 6 PM, only 3 hours until dark, "Yeah, we don't have much time," He added. "Its 3 hours 'till sundown"

"Oh no! We gotta hurry so we can come back and watch the Special Edition of Barbie's Adventures!" Cherry squealed.

Sparkster scratched her head, "Ummm...that wasn't what I meant, but ok," she said, watching Barbie was fine with her.

"Well, come on guys, lets go" She started walking towards the door.

'WAIT!!!" Somebody yelled, Sparks stopped and turned back around, "Huh, why?"

"I gotta potty first!!" Zeronokai announced, and began his mad rush to thebathroom with his hands on his butt.

Five seconds later the bathroom door closed, Sparks just sighed and sat down on the sofa.

There was all kinds of disturbing explosion sounds coming out from the bathroom like somebody was fighting a war in there, two hours later Zeronokai came out.

"Ok I'm ready!" he said with a look of satisfaction on his face. Everybody else was sitting on the sofa looking mad.

"Jeeze man what where you doin' there? Floating rubber duckies in the toilet? My god you took forever!" Sparkster snapped at him.

"It's not MY fault I took so long! The toilet overflowed and I don't know why!"

Suddenly brown sludge began to pour into the room from the bathroom.

"See what I mean?" Zeronokai said, rapidly being buried in sewage.

Sparkster looked like she was ready to explode but held it in, "just come on" she growled.

She had a disgusted look as she literally had to swim her way to the door and opened it, the sewage emptied out into the streets of Zebulos.

All the other rockets knights rushed for the exit with their hands over their noses and left, probably traumatized, I know I would be.

Zeronokai stopped to look at Sparkster one last time before departure, "You really

ougtha fix that toilet sometime you know" he said, he then turned around and rocket-boosted off in the directions of the others.

Sparks was speechless and stood there with this look on her face like she wanted to kill somebody(Can't imagine who), however the scream and siren sounds emanating from the streets below her attracted her attention, she looked off the platform attached to the side of the tower that was like their porch at the disaster, possums where still squirming around in the crap, trying to get out, the news people where there and everybody was watching.

Sparky had enough, shaking her head in disgust as she fianlly left, following the others by the sight of their fruity colored armor.


End file.
